Blog Posts

Comtemplation = Change

11/8/2016

I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed with worries and sadness, and then I thought of a quote I wrote a few weeks back.

"Everything kept in the dark stays unresolved. Everything that is brought to the light becomes visible, accessible, possible and ready to be resolved."

My son Spencer left yesterday for a year to Australia. This is not a time to be stuck in fear. This is a time for new experiences; self-growth; learning, and discovery, not only for my son, but for myself as well. My heart filled with joy and happiness.

"Everything kept in the dark stays unresolved. Everything that is brought to the light becomes visible, accessible, possible and ready to be resolved."

-Courageous Butterfly.

Daring Greatly

7/31/2015

I am about to enter into a new chapter in my life. I want to say to my Self, don't be afraid. Trust in your gut feelings. Life is good. Breathe in each step. Breathe in each moment. Move through it with confidence. Trust in your abilities. You have everything you need to move forward with your dream. You can do this. I know you can. You are ready. Think about the distance you have already walked on this earth. Let each breath guide you and remind you of your strengths, power and capacity to move mountains. You can reach the peak and become whatever your devoted heart desires.

It's time to dare greatly my friend!
Let go of all fears, and let your divine self write the next chapter of your life.
I in Trust.
Believe.
I am.

- Courageous Butterfly

Becoming me

7/27/2015

"I will not hold back any longer from expressing LOVE. I used to be afraid of being rejected, or of seeming needy. The 'needy' thing was one of my biggest self-doubts. I thought that if I love too much or had the need to feel loved, it was because I was needy and insecure. I recognize now that Loving fully is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of bravery. Loving with my whole heart takes a lot of courage, because I am exposing who I really am to the world, and I am taking a risk on being hurt.

I was taught in some point in my life that being too affectionate was a sign of weakness, and that it was not necessary for happiness or survival. It is for me. It takes a lot of courage to Love fully. Saying to someone 'I love you' who is uncomfortable with these words, and who would probably not say it back.

For some reason, these three little words 'I love you' makes people feel uncomfortable. I find it so very sad that for some of us, it's easier to say, 'I hate you', then 'I love you'.

In my thirties, I held back my love for the fear of being too needy. I told myself to love just a little. I soon realized that loving a little, was also 'feeling a little.' I was not being true to myself. I was not fully living my life. I felt small and fake. As soon as I made the decision to Love fully again something amazing happened. I allowed my true Self to be alive. I was me again and from that awakening, a purpose came to me. I opened my heart to God and heard whispers; "You are ready." I opened the doors to my own yoga studio, a place where I can share my heart and dream. I published my first book which helped me to embrace my story. My book enables me to connect with the world and becoming a voice of hope for many who had similar challenges. I am now moving forward with my dream, as I really want to participate in making a difference. I am enrolling into a two-year spiritual psychotherapy program to continue with my purpose, which is to help others to recognize their own power, potential and inner-peace.

Loving fully, and living life fearlessly is the most courageous thing I can do, because I am allowing myself to be vulnerable and real. I don't let the fear of exposing my insecurity or weaknesses hold me back any longer. They are gifts; part of life journey; part of being human."

Everyday, my being seek new ways to expand.

- Courageous Butterfly

Failure can be a gift

7/25/2015

"Through time I discovered that Failure doesn't have to be a negative experience.
Failure can be a passage; a stepping stone, to move me to a greater & stronger place.
Failure can be my teacher; a guidance to get me one step closer to my true purpose and dream.
Failure is not a sign of defeat, nor a sign of weakness.
It is a sign of courage, devotion and willingness of the heart - my Higher-Self.
Failure is about self-discovery; part of the whole process, God's perfect plan.

- Courageous Butterfly

Thy Peace

6/23/2015

"Every stepping stone brought me to where I am today. If it would not have been for my pain and struggles, I wouldn't have come across my personal strength, perseverance and determination. I would not be who I am today.

There cannot be peace in my world until I make peace with myself and pain.
Peace begins within me first, and then spreads out into the world.

My heart says:
Sit in silence for a few minutes everyday,
Remember who you are;
If you found yourself too busy, then you need to sit in stillness for an hour."

- Courageous Butterfly

LOVE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS

6/5/2015

"When things go out of hands, please God, remind me that I am enough, do enough, and have enough.
What truly matters most in the end, is LOVE."

- Courageous Butterfly

This too shall pass

9/20/2014

"Someone asked me, “What is your biggest regret Nancy?” Without thinking about it, my heart sank into sorrow. Right there, I wanted to burst out crying. I never thought that I would have regrets, since I try very much to live my life in the moment. But if I am honest here, when the question was asked, my mind moved back into my early thirties, and I felt regret.
Although I know I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time, I still wish I knew better then. I wish I have learned those hard lessons before having children, so I could have reacted and responded with more trust and understanding during their young life. But I didn’t. And I am now living one of my deepest fear; the consequences of my over-reactions.
All I can do now is to ask for forgiveness not only to the people I hurt, but to myself.
I know that things happen for a reason, and that in every struggle, there is an opportunity for growth. I am learning to accept 'what is'; things as they are, and also things I cannot change. What a challenge that is, this lesson is one of the longest and hardest journeys of my life.
This morning I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. As I am going through the process, I am letting the pain in. I am allowing it to be. This will help me to overcome my sorrow and teach me what I need to know.

I am sharing with you my story to ease my pain, to unload my thoughts, as I strongly believe we are here to help and connect with one another. I hope that if you are going through a difficult time, you will find comfort knowing that you are not alone.

I know that this too shall pass.

- Courageous Butterfly

One day my soul screamed

8/13/2014

"One day my soul screamed... Enough! I was in so much pain. At the age of 37 I hit rock bottom, and my entire world shifted. I found myself in a nightmare, battling depression. It was a long journey to recovery. Too many people think that depression in not a real illness. Too many people think that mental illness can be cured with happy thoughts and visualization. Depression is a real thing. It is devastating, overwhelmingly painful and overpowering. People who suffer from depression need professional help to get through it. There is no shame to ask for support or help. Many of us are afraid to admit to suffering from depression, we feel ashamed. Depression is as real as any disease and should be treated as such. Let's talk!
Share your story... make a difference!
This epidemic needs to be spoken about.

My heart goes out to Robin Williams family and people who are affected by mental illness.

- Courageous Butterfly

Ambivert personality

6/8/2014

"Life belongs to the flexible, one who can move from extroversion to introversion and from introversion to extroversion as easily as you move outside your house and inside your house." ~ Osho

I discovered today that I am an ambivert; I am a person whose personality move from being extrovert to introvert, from introvert to extrovert; learning about ambivert personality was very powerful and informative for me. I recognized myself.

This is what I learned:

An extrovert is a person who is friendly and outgoing, who is energized by being around other people. Extroverts are very curious; interested in and concerned with the external world. They enjoy social situations and even seek them out since they enjoy being around people. They often think best when they are talking. Concepts doesn't seem real unless they can talk about them; reflecting on them isn't enough.

An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is often drained by being around other people. They are more concerned with the inner-world of the mind. They enjoy thinking. They often avoid social situations, because being around people can drain their energy. After being around people, they need time alone to recharge.

I have a curious personality. I love to hear about people's life stories. I have a strong need to connect with people. I feel most happy when I'm around my family and good friends; when I can give a hug, a smile, a shoulder; when I can laugh and celebrate life. I often want to dance and share hearts. I feel deeply inspired and motivated when I am in a meaningful conversation. I know that socializing can be a great teacher. However, I also know that I need to listening to my own whispers; my heart and gut feelings. I love to read, write and explore my own thoughts and feelings. I have this need to be alone, to meditate and to contemplate about life. I love to sit in silence to renew my spirit, so to restore my sense of Self and inner-balance.

I am at my very best when I feel a profound connection with self, God, and the world.

- Courageous Butterly

Coming out of the Closet

5/5/2014

Four years ago, I took all of my courage and published my first book called 'Courageous Butterfly'. I wrote about my experiences with rejection, low self-esteem, the separation of my family, my deep sadness, the loss of my son Jessy and my struggle with depression and panic disorder. I didn’t share my struggle with learning disability or dyslexia because at the time, I didn’t know how to put it into words, plus I wasn’t diagnosed for it. At 48 years of age, I took the decision to find the truth about my challenges; with writing, reading and expressing myself. People who know me now, may be surprised to hear this, but all my life I’ve felt inadequate, slow, and at times stupid. I finally took the responsibility to see a specialist and I was shocked to hear the words, ADD, learning disability, and dyslexia. All my life I questioned my intelligence, felt so alone in my struggles, and tried every trick in the book to hide my challenges. Today at 51 years old, I am once again taking my courage to share with you the Courageous Butterfly that I am. Last month, I applied to a school program to become a French language facilitator. I had the interview last Monday and had my response the next day. They informed me that I had passed the interview successfully. Of course, I was proud of myself and pleased of my accomplishment. I am now waiting to see if there is a position for me in the Brampton/Mississauga area. My job now is to trust that life will bring me what I need. It would be wonderful to work with young children, especially the ones who are like me struggling with words and expressing themselves. I am sharing my story to bring hope into the world, to connect with whoever needs encouragement, and self-acceptance. To all of you out there who is challenged by a condition, don’t ever give up on yourself or on your dreams.

We all have something beautiful to give, share and offer the world.

-Courageous Butterly